No, I'm not drunk, honest!
Last week was shit. You cant polish a turd, as they say! I won't go into why much, but as a single mum to a hormonal teenager, sometimes it all gets a little much to cope with alone. It was just one of those weeks. Every time one of us spoke World War III broke out. Then the dog joined in by creating this display of dog food and plain flour on the kitchen floor...
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Once the tears started there was no stopping them, sometimes you just need a good blub!
It had been bubbling up all week and every day I went over my max amount of slimming world syns. Not by much, but regularly. But amidst my floods of tears on Friday night, I thought about stuffing my face with junk food, then told myself that would only make me feel worse. 'Haud the bus!', I thought, WHAT???
I've been an emotional eater for most of my adult life, if I'm happy I celebrate with food. If I'm sad I console myself with food. If I'm feeling really low I really go to town: pizza, cake, biscuits - whole packets at a time, cheese cheese and more cheese, nachos, chocolate, crisps...anything. I've often thought it's a kind if self harm, like I want to hurt myself, but i do it with junk food.
So to have the clarity of thought at that point to not bother even starting was massive for me. Yes, I had been overdoing snacks a little all week but at my lowest point I didn't decide to do my impression of a Tasmanian Devil in the bakery aisle of Asda. And that realisation made me cry some more, but happy tears!
And my boy came home later in a great mood. We had a good chat about us both trying harder, and it's been so much better this week. And if the past week cost me a 1.5lb gain on the scales then I think that's a bargain.
But seriously, thank you to everyone who has ever propped me up in group, people I've never met on the group Facebook page, anyone who has given me ideas for recipes, shared their good times and bad times, to my past consultants Nikki and Debbie, and my current consultant Dawn, for keeping me motivated enough to stick to a plan for long enough that my old habits have changed without me even noticing.
I might be a bit misty eyed again just now, wonder if I could cry 1.5lbs of tears out tonight... (I'm kidding!!)
Big love,
Jill xxx
