Saturday night's alright for biting...

Apologies for another cringe worthy title (sorry, not sorry... :) )

The past couple of days I have been suffering from 'slimmer's memory', it's a real thing! ;)
I forget that I've had biscuits, crisps, extra little bits creep in to my meals, and then there are the 'f**k it' moments.  When I remember all the things I've already eaten, know i've gone over my Slimming World syns, but think 'f**k it' and eat more anyway. Might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb, eh?

Then on Friday night, after a really busy week being back at work after 4 weeks holiday (yes, I know, I AM lucky!) I took myself off to bed early, I think I was asleep by about 10pm-ish and slept til 9am, lovely! And I had a pile of Facebook notifications, loads of them, very odd! However, lovely Clair my current Slimming World consultant had invited lots of people to like the page for this blog, and my numbers had doubled overnight!  How nice, it even prompted me to make my breakfast of wheat biscuits and berries look pretty and take a picture of it to post rather than just throwing it down my neck.  It also really helped to refocus my efforts and stop sabotaging myself this week. So hello! Welcome, and thank you so much for being here, I truly appreciate it!

I had already taken the time to plan my meals for the coming week, so I was almost back on track, but my snacks were the problem.  So today I have been much better. I made a big pot of chicken, leek and rice soup and have been snacking on it throughout the day.  I'm also making a bigger effort to drink more water as I often forget to at the weekends.  But it's Saturday and I know I will need nibbles for the evening ahead.  I'm a grazer in the evenings.

So I've made some hummus and dippy veggies (or crudites for the less heathen like amongst you!), sweet potato skins scooped out and mixed with bacon and spring onion, topped with melted cheese (my Healthy Extra A allowance), and then a mix of fat free greek yogurt and some chopped chives (this was just the result of messing about with what was in the fridge - try it!), and a wee packet of chocolate buttons for 4 syns. There was also a bowl of pickled onions and beetroot but I scoffed them. I'm going to have a cheeky wee Jack Daniels and diet coke too (4.5 syns for 35ml), it IS the weekend :)

That wee lot should keep me going all evening!!

Oh and just to prove that I really do eat a huge amount of food, this was tea from 2 hours ago:

Lamb leg steaks with visible fat removed, marinated all day in fat free yogurt and harissa paste (a tiny 0.5 syns per level tspn!), couscous loaded with red onion, green chillis, tomatoes, lime juice, and fresh mint, coriander and flat leaf parsley. A favourite tea that I had forgotten about til I saw a jar of harissa in Asda last week.

Hope these give you some ideas if you are following Slimming World, but to be honest it's just tasty grub for anyone.

Big love,
Jill xxx

Dear Slimming World group...

...I love you. I actually really love you. All of you. All of the people who have been in groups I've gone to in the past, all of the people in my current group. Consultants, members, just everyone, I love you all!

No, I'm not drunk, honest! 

Last week was shit. You cant polish a turd, as they say! I won't go into why much, but as a single mum to a hormonal teenager, sometimes it all gets a little much to cope with alone.  It was just one of those weeks. Every time one of us spoke World War III broke out. Then the dog joined in by creating this display of dog food and plain flour on the kitchen floor...

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.  Once the tears started there was no stopping them, sometimes you just need a good blub! 

It had been bubbling up all week and every day I went over my max amount of slimming world syns. Not by much, but regularly. But amidst my floods of tears on Friday night, I thought about stuffing my face with junk food, then told myself that would only make me feel worse. 'Haud the bus!', I thought, WHAT???

I've been an emotional eater for most of my adult life, if I'm happy I celebrate with food. If I'm sad I console myself with food. If I'm feeling really low I really go to town: pizza, cake, biscuits - whole packets at a time, cheese cheese and more cheese, nachos, chocolate, crisps...anything. I've often thought it's a kind if self harm, like I want to hurt myself, but i do it with junk food.

So to have the clarity of thought at that point to not bother even starting was massive for me.  Yes, I had been overdoing snacks a little all week but at my lowest point I didn't decide to do my impression of a Tasmanian Devil in the bakery aisle of Asda.  And that realisation made me cry some more, but happy tears!

And my boy came home later in a great mood. We had a good chat about us both trying harder, and it's been so much better this week.  And if the past week cost me a 1.5lb gain on the scales then I think that's a bargain.

But seriously, thank you to everyone who has ever propped me up in group, people I've never met on the group Facebook page, anyone who has given me ideas for recipes, shared their good times and bad times, to my past consultants Nikki and Debbie, and my current consultant Dawn, for keeping me motivated enough to stick to a plan for long enough that my old habits have changed without me even noticing.

 I might be a bit misty eyed again just now, wonder if I could cry 1.5lbs of tears out tonight... (I'm kidding!!) 

Big love,

Jill xxx